An Update

Hello (very) loyal audience!

It has been far too long since my last post and I actually feel really guilty about it.  I really enjoy(ed) writing in this blog.  So, rather than continuing to wait for a self-proclaimed profound thought worth sharing I figure I'll stop procrastinating and write a post about what I've been up to since my last post. 

So first and foremost, I have been working.  As most young professionals in my generation are discovering, saying that I have been working doesn't quite do it justice - it indicates that I have a job but doesn't quite give the flavor of reality that I'd like to offer for taste-testing.  I am currently involved in 5 biomechanics studies at work and I'll try to lay them out in non-engineering terms to try and maintain the image of being a normal, sociable, real, not nerdy person!  Disclaimer - I am very nerdy.

The first study I worked on when I started my job at HSS was called the Juvenile ACL reconstruction study.  The primary significance of the study is addressing the fact that adult ACL reconstruction techniques are inappropriate for juvenile patients because the growth plate of their skeletally immature bones (the part that causes the bones to elongate to full, mature length) would be disrupted with a drill tunnel, thus stunting the growth of the bone and dwarfing the patient.  The clinical alternatives generally involve methods that use extracortical fixation (a screw that enters from outside the bone and doesn't pass too deep) and wrapping the ACL graft around the back of the femur and then through a bone tunnel in the tibia, sparing the epiphysis (growth plate).  There are many surgical variations on this procedure and the Juvenile ACL study set out to evaluate two such techniques with the hopes of finding that one was more kinematically stable or reduced pressures in the joint relative to ACL-deficient knees, or both.  The testing is conducted with a large robotic arm that manipulates the knee in predetermined ways that are deemed relevant for recording measurements based on past literature and functional clinical exams.  All in all, 11 cadaveric knees were dissected, prepped, tested, operated on, and analyzed by yours truly, one of my coworkers named Carl, and a surgical resident named Moira.  Dissection and prep took place on the same day, testing generally took one 18 and one 12 hour day, and the surgeries were performed on testing days.  The study took us 8 weeks to complete from start to finish.  Doing some rough retrospective number crunching, I was involved in cutting up 11 knees, performing 22 ACL reconstructions, and 330 hours of testing - IN TWO MONTHS!    I've never been in a place that's so efficient and productive with its research.  Data processing took Carl and I about 3 weeks to munch through after which Moira turned an abstract around in about the same time.  The study has been finalized, a paper written and submitted, and plans are currently being made for designing future research thrusts based on our findings.

I suppose I should take a minute or two now and explain what testing is like.  It involves sitting in a room about the size of 4 H3 hummers with a huge robotic arm, 2 freezers full of..... parts....., the specimen you are currently working on (in the robot's grips), a computer cluster from which we researchers play God to the robot, and usually a coworker or medical resident to keep you awake and entertained.  Operating the robot is a matter of running specific house-written (MATLAB) computer codes, watching the readouts on the computer screen to ensure that you haven't told the robot to perform its own, violent surgery on the specimen accidentally, and keeping the specimen moist so the tissues don't dry out.  Needless to say, Carl, Moira, and I learned a lot about each other during those testing days.  On the really long days (nights) there always seemed to be a bewitching hour between 8-10pm that always rendered us slap-happy, irritable, and karaoke-prone for the rest of the testing day.  Carl gave brief introductory lessons on the finer (innapropriate) words in the German language, Moira continually demonstrated a desire to understand what was going on with testing but, frustratingly, not being able to grasp engineering concepts, and I blessed the crowd with a witty, satirical sense of humor that can only accurately be described as that of Jeff Tucker's.  Those of you that know my father (or maybe myself - .....scary) understand what it was like.

Another important aspect of this study that I have failed to mention up to this point is that a senior, attending surgeon from the main hospital, Dr. Frank Cordasco (Google him!  He's really cool!) came over to perform the surgeries with Moira, Carl, and myself.  Now that the study has been submitted, he will be writing me a letter of recommendation for medical school.

(dramatic pause)

You did read that correctly.  I am, yet again applying to medical school.  If there is one thing that I have learned from my experience so far at this job, it is that I LOVE surgery!  I generally don't take well to being held back and I would generally hold a grudge against medical schools and spite them for not accepting me in the past but I have found a real passion here and I am throwing my hat in the ring again one last time. 

Note - at this point I am realizing that I will have to tell you about my other studies in another post (but at least the topics for future posts are decided so I have no more excuses to not write!)

I spent a large part of the day today filling out the all-too-familiar-to-me common application for AMCAS which opens up for submissions on June 5.  I will be submitting my application on June 5th and, therefore, will be quite busy between now and then with work, applications, and continuing to study for the MCAT, which I intend to take in late July this year.  To further belabor myself (and much to my surprise), I will be applying to some schools for their MD/PhD program, adding more years onto the time it would take me to graduate.  I have developed a soft spot for research since starting this job and would like to stay involved throughout my career (or at least that's how I feel now).  So that's the long-put off update - stay tuned as I intend to get back on the horse and post more regularly!

Late Nights/Early Mornings

So here's the deal with New York City: you can't sleep full nights and experience what the city has to offer, period.  I am fortunate to be in the city at the ripe age of 23 while I can still occasionally get away with missing an entire night (week) of sleep and survive.  And by survive I mean drag my non-coffee drinking, groggy butt into the office to be harangued by my secretary who immediately notices that I am wearing my glasses.  She follows her bemused facial expression with something like: "somebody needs to learn how to handle the city... Bendito!"  I still tend to be the earliest one in the mornings, however, so I normally have time to make it look at least like I've been rubbing my eyes to cure some terrible itch rather than look like the only one who can't make it in the big city.  Fortunately, my office is full of 'young professionals' such as Julie, my housemate, and myself and, therefore, it is not uncommon for someone to show up late and/or look a tad (understatement) under the weather.

One of the most important things to realize about partying in this city is that the party don't start till I walk in - Terrible Ke$ha lyrics that come into my head every time I hear the words 'party start'.  Where I was really going with that is that the parties don't start until 10:30PM at the earliest!  What this means is that if you want to be cool and hang out with your friends out at the bar, you're going to be out until at least 2AM but probably more like 4.  On top of that, you will be paying the princely sum of $6 for any single beverage you order - unless you would like a mixed drink in which case you can safely double that number.  Summary: Overtired, broke, and still uncool.

On the more positive side of the nightlife in Astoria is that I have met and continue to meet some of the most interesting people I have encountered this far in life!  One of them, my new friend, Newell, gave me the idea for this post's subject (here is my shameful apology for having not maintained my blog since November - I should spend less time out and more time in doing productive, self-developmental things like blogging).  I have developed a simple methodology for meeting new friends - I go out with my housemate.  Julie talks to everyone and this provides great opportunity for me to overcome the awkwardness inherent in all engineers and magnified in myself.  I wait for a break in their conversation and then poke my head closer to Julie's which causes her to both remember that I exist and introduce me to her/our new friend(s).  The surprising part of our nocturnal endeavors is how friendly everyone is that we have met.  Regardless of where we go, we leave having met amazing people who we are surely going to meet up with again in the near future.  This has, for me, disproved the widely-held belief that New Yorkers are rude.  I would say that such a sentiment comes from travelers and tourists who spend short spurts of time in this beautiful city and see a few monuments and museums (full of rude tourists), ride the subways during peak travel hours (full of disgruntled, uncomfortable workers and hobos), and dine in fancy restaurants (undoubtedly feeling pretentious).  In fact, some of the nicest people I have encountered so far in life have been random run-ins or eye-catches or people that Julie has fallen onto (don't hate me for that one, Julie)! 

As is only appropriate for this post, it is 12:30AM and I have to get up for work at 6AM.  Looks like the score still stands:  New York - 1, Scott - 0.  And with that, I wish you goodnight!

Trying to Get a Leg Up

This post may make you uncomfortable.  You’ve been warned…

Last night I found myself leaving work after a 13 hour shift that I originally thought was going to be a normal 8 hour day.  This has become a normal occurrence for me at work – partially because I like my job and partially because it’s healthier than going home and being a bum.  I’m not talking about the kind of bum that lies on a couch, sleeps, and eats.  I’m talking about the kind of bum that gets home, throws belongings randomly in places they don’t belong, cooks but doesn’t do the dishes, parties but doesn’t clean up the mess, and other general irresponsible habits I picked up from college – I love being a young professional but I’m pretty sure I can’t count myself as one because of my lifestyle.  Have no fear, though, I choose this path every day I decide to be a bum and I am thoroughly enjoying it, save for those one or two days a month where my housemate and I decide that we live in such filth that it is time to organize everything and deck-scrub the floors.  Anyhow this post is supposed to be about work so let me get back to the task.

So I get home from work last night with just enough time to make a rapid dinner (barbecued chicken and mixed vegetables), practice playing beer pong for an upcoming tournament (I did tell you I was irresponsible, right?  Well I’m not – I practiced with water…. ;-)   ), and get to sleep in time to wake up early for work.  I did not, however, have time to reflect on the last hour-and-a-half of work.  The end of my work day yesterday adequately describes why I love my job, why I am weird (or at least one reason), and why you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. Yesterday I volunteered (why I can’t complain about long hours) to help a coworker get a cadaver leg scanned.  Oh yeah, I just realized that I haven’t yet told you all that I work with cadavers all day.  That’s right folks, DEAD PEOPLE.  Fortunately I don’t deal with whole people and have to experience the emotions attached to that.  Unfortunately that means I get parts to deal with.  I’m currently working on 3 knee projects (meaning that I see a lot of dead legs), an elbow project, and an index finger project.  The job is definitely not for the queasy as it often involves pushing or pulling on these parts with mechanical testing machines, performing dissections, drilling holes, and, sometimes, breaking bones. So yesterday I had a whole leg to work with – we’re talking femoral head (the part of your leg that inserts into your hip socket) all the way down to and including the foot.  This 20 lb leg was strapped to two 2x4s; one was short to hold the foot at 90 degrees to the leg and the other was a bit longer than the length of the leg.  CT scanning for specimens doesn’t happen in the building I work on, meaning that the leg has to be transported up 2 blocks in the Upper East Side in Manhattan, New York.  To paint the mental picture here, imagine a leg-sized cardboard box stuffed with a leg and styrofoam jammed into a long duffel bag and then slung over my shoulder like I’m carrying a circus tent.  I proceeded down the elevator and out into the crazy world that is New York City.  Wall-to-wall traffic, pedestrians covering the sidewalk, dog walkers, joggers, and the elderly all stood a good chance of bumping into me and this unshapely package I was carrying.  I was a tad nervous about the strap breaking followed by the zipper popping followed by the cardboard giving-way to the leg as it crashed onto the sidewalk with a wet thud - but that never happened.  So I got the leg to its destination – a 2 million dollar imaging machine that took 1,164 images in less than 2 minutes, giving me a digital 3D xray of the leg and internal parts with a resolution on the order of .01mm (10 microns to those in the know).

So next time you see someone walking on the Upper East Side with a large container be sure to steer clear.  You never know what surprises may await!

Something to Keep in Mind

I was struck by terrible news today.  While at work one of my college buddies messaged me to let me know that one of our old classmates passed away of natural causes this past weekend.  I should start this by mentioning that I did not know Bobby very well.  He was one of those college peers who shared the same major, appeared in many of my classes, and was randomly assigned to a group with me to work on class projects every now and then. What I did know about him, however, is that he was a very hard working 24 year old PhD candidate, president of the Biomedical Engineering Society, integral member of his research lab, boyfriend, son, brother, and friend.  Six months ago he and I were standing in front of our class dissecting a journal publication about tissue engineering with the intentions of educating the next generation of biomedical engineers on how to focus their efforts to help sick people recover.  To my knowledge, Bobby was neither sick nor injured.  For all I know he may not have experienced any warning signs that he was in any danger, given that he was working at his job when complications set in.  This hit me as a very clear message that I am not indestructible and as a reminder that the only guarantee I have in life is the present.  It is incredibly important to take time to appreciate the here-and-now and (I know it's cliche) live each day to the fullest.  There is no more blatant reminder that life is a gift than when one gets taken away. I don't mean this post to be morose or negative but I do want it to serve as a reality check! Death is something we shouldn't live our lives running from but just accept as the inevitable end and choose to live accordingly.  We all have so much talent and so much promise individually but, more importantly, we all mean something to so many other people.  Bobby would not have called me anything more than an acquaintance yet I feel so much anger and frustration with his passing.  I am fortunate enough to have had very few encounters with death thus far in life that I literally cannot imagine what his close friends, and family are going through. Bobby is greatly missed and his passing commands everyone to take some time to appreciate those who care for them and those who they care for. At the end of the day, what more do we have than each other and the memories we have created together?

Alone in a Crowded Room

It happened.  I mean I guess I knew it would eventually but I never anticipated what it would feel like when it did.  This morning I felt completely alone in New York City.  I was having an excellent morning up until I got on the subway to trek into the working world for a few hours. After pushing my way into the crowded car the tone rang and the doors slid shut like they always do. Something was different this time when the car started moving - I was looking around at all the people and felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness. I wanted to go back to the world of the weekend where I got together with close friends and met a few more.  From the buzz of the beer garden on Sunday afternoon, randomly meeting people who are feeling equally as carefree and fun-loving, to the sleeping in, ordering out, and all-around laziness that comes with few commitments I had more than enough social and personal time to stay happy. I can't explain where this feeling came from but it really hit hard. I love my new life and the independence that came with it and this post is not a complaint but, rather, an observation.  It is so interesting to me that you can feel isolated when surrounded to the point of physical contact with people who are (mostly) around your age. I have had plenty of opportunities to make friends in the city and I have been having a great time.  The real truth of the matter is that, in a city so large, nobody belongs more than you do.

Finding a Purpose

At my college convocation, Rudy Giuliani excitedly explained to my class that we were about to embark on the greatest adventure yet - that of finding our contribution to society.  Finding that niche in which we can, individually, make a difference to improve the future of society. Making the discovery that you can add unique value to your profession is a goal that I hope to hold on to throughout my life. It must be so empowering to wake up daily and know that the work you do changes lives (current or future). My experiences over the past 2 months at my new job have been gradually solidifying my convictions about where and what my contribution will be. Its an enlightening process and it forces an excited smile when I think about my future and the potential I have to make a contribution. I think its a journey that never really ends and probably goes through several evolutions as you experience everything that life has to offer whilst you climb the age tree. It is easy to fall into the mindset that you go to work on a daily basis to meet your basic needs (making money to support yourself and your family).  Try not to lose sight of the fact that your effort and productivity make a difference - realizations like this can make the difference between waking up happy and just waking up. I believe everyone strives to make a difference and create a legacy to be proud of.  Well, there is no better time to start than right now so get out there and make it happen!

Guaranteed Fun

There are always those friends in life that you can rely on no matter what.  The kinds that you can go months with no contact and then pick up exactly where you left off without missing a beat.  The friends who show up on a whim and, with no plans or preparation, turn a weekend into full-blown vacation.  The friends who are there for you before you ask for help.  The friends that are really more like family.

I had the pleasure of spending time with some of my close friends this weekend.  6 of them came to visit me in my new apartment this past weekend.  I appear war-torn, battered, and bleary-eyed but I wouldn't trade in the experience for the world.  In 2 days we've collectively visited all 5 boroughs of the city (some on accident), tested the durability of my new furniture (so far, so good), drank everything from single malt scotch whiskey to the cheapest beer we could find, smoked imported cigars, toured bars and a beer garden, ate meals from all corners of the earth (after raiding all the food in my fridge), caught up on life stories, walked the equivalent of a half-marathon,  and basically escaped reality for 48 hours!  ....And we are already trying to plan a next time!

When you are with those friends you lose all sense of time and concern - nothing matters and you enter into the realm of pure enjoyment and entertainment.  They can make a foreign place feel like home and can turn a mundane trip to grab a gallon of milk into a nonsensical, sidesplitting adventure.  They can call you mid-blog post and keep you on the phone for half an hour .  They can make you feel secure, confident, and loved.  I am so thankful to have friends like this and I hope my value for them is never underestimated.

We encounter so many people on our journey through life.  The paths and twists and turns (expected and unexpected) can take you to places you never dreamed of experiencing.  Its the familiar faces and the warm smiles that can turn nearly any environment into a comfortable one.  A book I'm reading written by a retired professor states simply that life is mostly about making memories.  Make those visits and trips with your friends worth remembering!